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About Me
I was born in a little village called VaVaVoom in the barren country of Jordan. I moved to Iraq for my education where I received private tutoring from Saddam Hussain and Joseph Stalin (he was still alive, his death was faked and kept on the low, hush hush). On completion of this I travelled the world, meeting fellow communists and fell in love with Lulu Lenin, Vladimir Lenin's grandaughter. We shacked up on a kibbutz in Tzatzikistan where we worked happily away with the kulaks and had 4 children together. I became an expert on sharecropping, rotational ploughing techniques and how variations in microclimate affect the harvesting of poppys. I...