I enjoy climbing trees, mountains, balcony's, and various other objects with any phallic influences. People are often shocked, amused, appalled, and impressed by the thoughts that come out of my mouth. I have successfullly prevented the formation of 4 lucky rabbit's feet keybobs. I adore baseball, and harbor ill will towards cheerleaders. I can throw a football over those mountains, no wait, thats uncle Rico. I am the national men baggo, skeeball, and bop-it champion. I enjoy poisioning my mind with a chalice of chardonnay. I dont drink 8 glasses of water a day, and this evades my conscience. People with bad grammar tug on my patience. Dictionaries, nerds, disco balls, espresso, and oak trees turn me on. I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to go a a braves game. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. The laws of physics do not apply to me
Who I'd like to meet: