A day without laughter is a day wasted Charlie Chaplin If your bottom burps in public Try to say in time Goodness gracious what a whiff It wasn't one of mine" “If you want to make enemies, try to change something.” Woodrow T. Wilson An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves “A whole stack of memories never equal one little hope” Charles M Schultz “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. - Dr Seuss I think therefore I am - Rene Descartes I'm pink therefore I'm ham - Porky Pig “My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?” It doesn't matter what you believe in, so long as you are sincere. - Charlie Brown "Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.' " Charlie Brown. You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life Winston Churchill "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it through not dying." -- Woody Allen

A brass monkey is a stand for cannonballs used in the British Navy in the "Old Days" In very cold weather, the brass would contract so much that the balls would fall off, hence the term "Brass Monkey Weather" It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in. Charlie Chaplin once lost a contest for a Charlie Chaplin look a like At least 2 people die every year from vending machines falling on them. That a cockroach will live nine days without it's head, before it starves to death. During your lifetime, you'll eat about 60,000 pounds of food, that's the weight of about 6 elephants! Polar bears are left handed. A kiss contains about 9 milligram of water and about 0,7 grams of fat and protein. The human head contains 22 bones, apparently the brain does not count Atheism is a non-prophet organization. The Great Pyramid of Giza is the only one of the Seven Wonders of the World that still survives. Cannibals never eat clowns, apparently they taste funny.

Portsmouth Facts and figures Population : 196400 Area : 40 Km2 Location : Central south coast About Portsmouth Portsmouth is a city dripping with history. It has been in existence since the 1100's, It is the birthplace of Isambard Kingdom Brunel, Charles Dickens, and Peter Sellers, the actor. Famous residents include Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Rudyard Kipling and H.G.Wells The dockyard is home to three historical ships, HMS Victory, HMS Warrior, and the Mary Rose. The City also has some impressive modern features, The Spinnaker tower, Gunwharf Quays, and three shopping areas. It also has a good nightlife with dozens of clubs, and hundreds of pubs. Getting there Portsmouth is only 100Km from London, is on the main rail network, is at the end of the M275 motorway, has its own international Ferry Port, and is on the national coach network. So however you decide to travel, Portsmouth is easily accessible. What to do when you get there Visit Gunwharf Quays Go up the Spinnaker Tower Check out the Historic Dockyard See the Blue Reef Aquarium Visit the D-day Museum Clarence Pier funfair Picnic on the common, live music in the summer at the bandstand. International Kite Festival every August bank holiday Try one of the many pubs in Albert Road. Visit the Isle of Wight Fratton Park, during the football season is a real experience! Where to stay There are several large hotels in the area, Marriott, Holiday Inn, Hilton and Travellodge are all here, and there is no shortage of locally run hotels, guest houses and Bed and Breakfasts either. The Queens Hotel, on Southsea seafront is a good hotel, in a perfect location.