One of our co-worker went missing for a few hours and we tore up the place looking for him. The boss finally found him fast asleep. Rather than waking him, he quietly placed a note on the man's chest: "As long as you're asleep, you have a job but as soon as you wake up, you're fired!" Should this man wake up or continue sleeping? 

A drunk man came across a woman carrying a duck..he shouted 'you! Where did u get this Pig?' the woman laughed and told him that it was a Duck.The drunk man silenced the woman saying 'shut ur mouth,i am talking to the Duck'.. wat could u do if u were the lady?

Husband sent a text to his wife at night : "Hi I will get late, please try and wash all my dirty clothes and make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return." He sent another text: "And I forgot to tell you that I got an increase in my salary at the end of the month I'm getting you a new car" She text back, "OMG really?" Husband replied, "No I just wanted to make sure you got my first message"