A little boy wakes up three nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents room. Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I look in your bedroom you're bouncing up and down on him." His mom is taken by surprise and says, "Oh.. Well.. ah.. well, I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again." And the boy says, "Well, that won't work!" His mom says, "Why?" And the boy replies, "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back
A husband suspected his wife was cheating on him He hired a detective but as he was not very well off, he hired the cheapest - a chinese. In a few days the husband got a letter: "Most honorable sir: You leave house. I watch house.He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house.I follow. She and he go in hotel.I climb a tree.I look in window. He kiss she.She kiss he. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall off tree. I not see. No fee Chen Lee"
My wife was dying. i was by her bedside. She said in a tired voice, " There is something I must confess." "Shhhh" i said, There is nothing to confess. Everything is alright. "No I must die in peace. I had s*x with your Brother, your best friend, his best friend and your Father."
"I know" i whispered. Thats why i poison you, now close your eyes.
OLD' IS WHEN... Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!' Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police . 'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take any fiber today.'OLD' IS WHEN... 'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot. An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom. AND 'OLD' IS WHEN... You are not sure if these are facts or jokes?
A love struck young girl sent the following text to her lover: If you are sleeping sent me your dreams, If you are laughing send me your laughs, If you are eating send me your food, If you are at the ATM send me your money, Whatever you are doing send me some. the boy replies: I'm using the toilet so what should i do?
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